Guest Post: The Third Boob

What: They are our Guests today… so be nice, stop throwing rocks! 
Where: On Little Miss Mama
When: Today silly, need I remind you?
Why: Because I like Chach and Nellie – and because how else am I going to get away with talking about a Third Boob on Little Miss Mama?

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Where is Little Miss Mama you ask… well I’m at The Third Boob of course, Blogging there. Come and find me… 
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I’m please to introduce you to Chach and Nellie from “The Third Boob”. If you are not already giggling by their Blog name, then I just don’t know why you’re even here. With what pictures should have been popping into your heads, you no doubtingly should be rolling on the ground laughing. 

Why the name you ask… Well first I will introduce you to both writers on the Blog, then I will tell you where the name came from, your laughing will soon turn to gasps and thanking your lucky “boob gland” stars!


Meet Chach:

i’m chach. i am a 30-something old mommy to two little boys (one and three), happy wife to mr. a and caregiver to a crazy, sweet and spunky weimaraner.

what you should know about me: i exercise so i can eat. i love to eat.
i think peanut butter and chocolate is the most perfect duo. i think a girl should eat dessert, and never order a salad on a date. i like a family-friendly decor with fun surprises found in pops of color or something re-purposed in a new way. i don’t like to cook, but i do love the feeling that putting a meal on the table for my family gives me. i am perfectly imperfect and am learning to embrace my flaws and imperfections for what makes me who i am. i strive to be happy and content every day and try to be the best wife, mom, friend and daughter that i can be. 

 i believe in pedicures. i believe in green, the color not the lifestyle (although, more power to the people living the lifestyle. i admire you. truly. it’s just not for me. don’t judge.) i believe in slurpees, a great glass of red wine shared with a good friend and great, honest conversation. i believe in resolving conflict whenever possible and in keeping the peace. i believe in miracles, in a really good cheeseburger, giving back more than i take and in the quality of a good education. i love travel and long to see every little corner of this big, amazing world & to give my children the gift of perspective.i try to look for the good in every situation. i believe that taking time for me makes me a better wife, friend and mommy….and i whole-heatedly believe in saying “i love you” enough that the people i cherish will not have any doubts that i do.


Now Meet Nellie:

i’m nellie, a 30-something woman with four amazing kids and the coolest husband ever. i’m also the new proud owner of a box turtle my husband rescued from a suicide mission as it crossed a busy street. I had to google “turtles” to figure out what to do with it. my four kids (boy-7, girl-5, boy-4 and boy-1) keep me insanely busy and test my patience daily and i wouldn’t have it any other way. 

what you should know about me: i sing…all the time, everywhere, i sing. i’m one of those annoying shoppers that sings through Target, can’t seem to help myself. i love good food. i love to cook it and love to eat it. cooking has become my creative outlet and like it or hate it, my kids eat it. i’m not a short order cook. i actually enjoy going to the gym, partially because there is free childcare and partially because it means i can purchase a chai tea latte from Starbucks on my way home guilt-free.


i have a kid friendly, child-proofed home that still manages to be grown-up enough for me to enjoy. i have come to accept that at this stage in my life, i will never have all the rooms completely clean at one time. i’m okay with that. i love learning new things. i love to garden and i’m trying to love eating the vegetables i’m growing. i love projects. i think pedicures and hair cuts are necessities. i love to travel and live in new places. i can’t wait to open the world up to my kids. i believe in laughing really loud. 


i believe in consistent discipline. i believe that everyone should learn a foreign language. i believe in big hugs and kisses. i believe i was made just they way that i am for a reason. i love long phone conversations with great friends, tomato-basil soup, good books and seeing how much i saved at the end of each shopping transaction. i try to remember that in this season with small kids, the days are long but the years are short. i believe in enjoying my kids and my husband. i believe these years are going to fly by and i don’t want to miss a minute of it.



Now that you have been fully introduced….let get into the good stuff! Why oh why is your Blog named “The Third Boob”, please explain…and hold nothing back!

well, here it is in all its lengthy glory. there has been no other mommyhood story to top it. so, here is the story that started it all.


the first pregnancy is the most exciting. that’s not to say that other pregnancies aren’t full of wonder but the first one is full of all things new. every change is a new experience and the unknown helps to add to the thrill of it all. i was like a lot of first time pregnant moms. i enjoyed that first pregnancy…until i noticed a kiwi sized lump growing in my armpit. the worst of scenarios raced through my mind. did i have cancer? was this a tumor? when the doctor ordered an ultrasound of the lump, i was thinking the worst.


sitting in the office of the ultrasound technician, i stared at the monitor trying to figure out what she was seeing on that little screen. “what is it?” “all i can see is breast tissue. i’ll send the results to your doctor.” i felt a sense of relief. no tumor, just breast tissue…in my armpit. i had no idea why that would be and my ob-gyn was actually of very little help in that department. i was told it was just breast tissue. breasts swell during pregnancy and that it should go back to normal after giving birth. this was a great theory but, after looking around, no other pregnant women seemed to be walking around with a kiwi in one pit.


finally a lactation consultant friend of mine told me it could be an extra mammary gland. this was confirmed in the hospital after i gave birth to my first son. a second lactation consultant came in to check on the nursing situation and i blurted out, “i think i have a third boob.” to this, in the tradition of lactation consultants getting all up in your boob business, she peeled back my hospital gown to examine the said appendage. here’s where it gets good. this lady had all the good intel. apparently, your milk lines run from your armpit all the way down your abdomen (think a cat or a dog with a litter of puppies). you can be born with extra mammary glands or extra nipples anywhere along your milk line and, unless you have a visible nipple, you may not know it’s even there until your breasts swell during pregnancy. the consultant then proceeded to tell me that there was a woman in the hospital the day before with eight boobs. (i can hear the collective gasps through the computer.) i all of a sudden felt pretty happy just to have the one. she then continued by saying that it would go away after nursing and that, because there was no visible nipple, it would dry up and shrink back to its former undetectable size.


here is where she got it wrong. my milk finally came in for my first born and while i was nursing him, i asked my husband if he’d turn up the air conditioning because i felt like i was sweating profusely. i then looked down to see that no, i wasn’t sweating. what i thought had been the tiniest of brown freckles was instead a nipple that was currently dripping milk down into a puddle on my shirt. yep…sign me up for the circus people. not only do i have a third boob but it lactates. doesn’t get much better than that.

i had to nurse with a towel in my armpit and while most nursing moms got to walk around with just absorbent breast pads in their nursing bras, i got to do that and wear a huge band-aid on my armpit. just so we’re all aware here, my son was born in june…tank top weather. it was fabulous.

between baby one and two, i had the boob surgically removed. there’s still breast tissue in there and with each pregnancy, it swells up to say hello. at least there isn’t a nipple. i’m fine with the third boob thing…just not the wet clothing every time i need to nurse or hear a baby crying.

so, there you have it. i think the third boob can give everyone a brighter outlook on life and on their after-baby bodies. your stomach may look like a venetian blind from the stretch marks you earned or you may have skin that now somehow resembles an elephant’s trunk. still, looking in the mirror at yourself you can always say, “at least it doesn’t lactate.” so, here’s to you, third boob. thanks for making most of the world feel a little bit better about themselves…and for giving us a great story to tell. cheers!

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Thank you Chach and Nellie…for being so…. OPEN with us here at Little Miss Mama and making us giggle, as we all count our lucky stars 🙂

Now hope on over to The Third Boob and show them some Love!

XO
Tairalyn

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