STORY: My Love Hate Relationship with Breastfeeding

2016-09-19-14

Motherhood has a funny way of putting you in uncomfortable positions, physically and figuratively speaking. From breastfeeding in the aisle of a grocery store, to diaper changes on a park bench, to shushing your throat dry at 3:26am. You guys… I’m actually surprised a lot more of us are not parents of just one child. #funnybuttruestory

With Sofia, I was unable to breastfeed due to her early detected milk intolerance. I felt like such a failure; I wanted so badly as a first time mother to be able to provide my child with everything she needed. From love and affection, to warmth and safety and most importantly food; not being able to give her all of these things hurt in a way I can’t explain. >>BUT LET’S TRY… I felt incompetent but in a competent sort’of way. Does this make sense? I had the milk to give, it was flowing but it just wasn’t good enough for her little body.

Fast forward to this pregnancy, I refused to let myself create a vision of how things would be once Stella Grace arrived. I wouldn’t let myself visualize breastfeeding this baby in case I was dealt the same cards, in case Stella had the same sensitively like her sister. But not allowing myself has created this love hate emotion towards the motherly duty that still sticks with me today.

I LOVE being able to give my child all she needs; but…
I HATE the feeling that I’m the only one who can fully provide.

I LOVE that I can feed her anywhere at anytime; but…
I HATE that I’m not comfortable in doing so.

Breastfeeding is a funny thing (and I use the word funny because what else?)… it’s natural, it’s bloody amazing when you think about it, and society has managed to make it taboo. Woman, myself included are oddly enough not comfortable with doing it anywhere at anytime, which is CRAZY really. Would you skip feeding your child lunch because someone might catch a glimpse? Sounds absurd right? Well it is…

The uncomfortable feeling I had of being looked at, judged and bare(naked) in public was going no where, so for me and Stella owning a breast pump wasn’t an option, it was a must. When the opportunity came from the right company we jumped on it, trying out not only the Medela Freestyle Double Electric Breast Pump (which we love, and chatted about here), but we also were given the Medela Calma Feeding System to try and we test drove the new MyMedela App

calma_withbottle_demoLet me tell you about the Medela Calma Feeding System;

Designed exclusively as an alternative to breastfeeding for moms wishing to feed their babies with breast milk. 

Calma allows your baby to suck, swallow and breathe just as they learned to at the breast:

  • Baby is in control: your baby can drink, pause and breathe in a natural rhythm, remaining calm and settled, just like on the breast
  • Natural feeding behaviour: your baby needs to create a vacuum to start the milk flow, just like they do while breastfeeding. The vacuum and mouth positioning with Calma engage the same orofacial muscles as when breastfeeding.  
  • Preventing nipple confusion: babies maintain their natural sucking behaviour, allowing an easy transition from breast to Calma and back to breast again.

When we’re in public we bottle feed, when we’re at home we Breastfeed 90% of the time and the other 10% of the time Sofia and Sammy battle it out with a game of rock-paper-scissor to see who gets to bottle feed. Sofia chooses rock first, scissor second and paper third, ALWAYS, so when Stella is calm Sofia magically wins, but when Stella is hangry (a trait she got from Sammy) daddy wins; and that’s the science behind how we feed in this house.

Either magic or science, however you want to break it down, tracking your babies day-to-day is extremely important for the first few months. We did this religiously with Sofia, putting pen to paper, but with Stella we got all fancy and went digital. The reason behind why we do this is really simple, lack of sleep makes us stupid. We found we forgot a lot of the important details our doctor asked us during the first few weekly visits. Tracking it was the sure-fire way to not feel bad about losing our minds and at the same time ensuring the doctor that baby was eating enough, sleeping enough and of course having ample diaper changes. The MyMedela App tracks it all and is available in both iTunes and Google Play. 

mymedela-free-breastfeeding-app-for-moms-1

Being up in the middle of the night has very little perks. Your mind wanders, as do your fingers and while I have made a few horrible fashion purchases after midnight, I’m happy to report I’ve done absolutely no 2am shopping over the past 8 weeks. The neat thing about the MyMedela App is that it has a section for mama questions, because we all have ’em, answers to many of our questions about pregnancy, breastfeeding and pumping. It’s a place you can feel comfortable and confident in getting answers anytime of the day and as a bonus you avoid any regretful online purchases.

Another reporting I’m happy to share, Medela Canada is also wanting to giveaway a Freestyle Double Electric Breast Pump to one of our readers! How CRAZY is that? I love working with companies I genuinely love and believe in and better yet ones that are generous! So without further ado, here is your chance, enter now… and GOOD LUCK!

 

Medela #MedelaCanada Freestyle Double
Breast Pump Giveaway

dottedline

***

Are you following us on social media? You should be, come find us on:
Facebook  //  Twitter  //  Instagram  //  Pinterest

 

Disclosure:: I created this blog post as a paid ambassador with Medela and PTPA. As always, all opinions are my own and I’m sharing them along with my advice because I genuinely love this product.

Signature

Facebook comments

comments

Comments

  1. Wow! What a great giveaway. I have never tried Medela products to be honest, with my first I was unable to pump (just didn’t work! Nothing would come out) so I would love to try the Medela pump for number 2 arriving in April!

  2. I had a love/hate relationship with feeding as well. I learned a lot and am now wiser. Wish I had the help back then…but happy now to help struggling friends.

  3. I had a love/hate relationship with feeding as well. I learned a lot and am now wiser. Wish I had the help back then…but happy now to help struggling friends.

  4. I had a love/hate relationship with feeding as well. I learned a lot and am now wiser. Wish I had the help back then…but happy now to help struggling friends.

  5. I had a love/hate relationship with feeding as well. I learned a lot and am now wiser. Wish I had the help back then…but happy now to help struggling friends.
    LOVE that they are tested by parents. Such a smart company!

  6. I had a love/hate relationship with feeding as well. I learned a lot and am now wiser. Wish I had the help back then…but happy now to help struggling friends.
    LOVE that they are tested by parents. Such a smart company!

  7. I never really needed to pump until baby #3 came and her tongue and lip tie made breastfeeding a huge challenge and tanked my milk supply due to lack of stimulation and demand. BOO!! So, I had to pump to boost my supply and give baby pumped milk because it took her SO long to nurse due to the tongue tie. Luckily for us, after a tongue and lip tie laser we were able to get right back into nursing. I found time to pump with #3 so hard so, for us, I did the happy dance when I could pack the pump away.
    Glad to hear you’ve got a feeding routine that works for you and baby. That is what matters in the end!

  8. The perfect giveaway in the perfect time ! I had a very bad breastfeeding experience with my first one. I was using an electronic breast pump that I rented from the drugstore for nearly 2 months and half, but at the end, I had to stop because I had a severe infection ! Being pregnant now, I’m really excited to try again and I hope it will work this time.

  9. The perfect giveaway at the perfect time ! I had a very bad breastfeeding experience with my first one. I was using an electronic breast pump that I rented from the drugstore for nearly 2 months and half, but at the end, I had to stop because I had a severe infection ! Being pregnant now, I’m really excited to try again and I hope it will work this time.

  10. Awesome giveaway! My second baby is due early in the new year and my first will be five. I feel like I’ve forgotten everything … including how to breastfeed!

Speak Your Mind

*