TEA; 3 ways to screw it up

HowToTea1

1. YOU HAVE CHILDREN

Come’on, you know better than to make yourself a piping cup of tea while the kids are awake.

You turn on the kettle, it whistles, you make the call that the basket of 3 day old clean towels deserve your time, you put it off. 18 minutes passes and you remember you were making yourself a cup of sanity, damn it.  You excitedly head on back to the kettle but get asked to play doctor to a stuffed unicorn on the way, in fear of a killing a magical horse that farts sparkles, you play along and strap on the stethoscope like a pro. 7 minutes passes, the unicorn lives and your child has moved on to bigger and better things, crafts, empty toilet paper rolls scatter the floor and the white glue and construction paper are being requested, you run to the kitchen dodging every “but mum” that comes at your, absolutely nothing is going to stop you now. You get to the kettle, it’s ice cold. serves you right for thinking you could make a cup of tea at 8am

2. HOMO MILK IS YOUR ONLY MILK

Who cares that the last 4 letter in it’s name spell milk, that doesn’t mean it deserves a place in your morning cup.

Whatever you do, do not use homo milk in your tea, this should be a crime, one that I will gladly give a ticket for and sentence you to coffee drinking for the next 6 months. This is a serious felony people, the only milk that deserve to get all hot and heavy with your Camellia Sinensis is 2%. And for those of you who can’t drink the liquid from a cow teat, I recommend a good Organic Vanilla Almond Milk as substitute. 

3. YOUR CUP SUCKS

My nana made the statement, my mama lives by it, and I’m afraid what they’ll do if I derive.

You can’t just drink a cup of tea from a mug, the word alone is mind-numbing; mug *falls asleep*. Seriously though, tea should always be sipped from a cup that makes you feel like like royalty, small, dainty, and stamped with a date from the 1800’s.  And if not from a fine piece of china, then from some adorable cup marked with a witty phrase. You know the one I’m talkin’ bout, one that you can buy from those extraordinary home decor stores, you know the store. You walk in the doors to you pinterest living room, the smell fresh baked cookies, and the price of a throw pillow exceeds your monthly grocery budget. Yeah! One of those stores, you’ll find the perfect tea cup from there. 

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  1. That’s right about tea and kids. There’s always a disruption. That’s why I usually enjoy my cup of tea on Saturday and Sunday mornings when the kids sleep in and I get a little time to myself.

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